Helen Carden - Eulogy

For Helen Carden, Headmaster’s Secretary, 1982 to 2002.

I am grateful to have been asked to speak today, in tribute to a gracious woman, splendid Secretary and a magnificent colleague for some 24 years, both at Redlands from 1981 and at TMLE in Parramatta from 2010.

We here today have all known Helen’s generosity, kind humour, determination, durability, and unbending courage in the face of adversity or serious set backs. We will also have known her self-deprecatory humour, her shyness, her loyalty, her excellent common sense, her decisiveness in face of difficult decisions. Some who are not able to be here today, two of whom are Bob Dunnet and Ross Alexander on whose behalf and at whose request I gladly offer condolences to the girls and to Helen’s wider family, have also known Helen’s strengths and virtues up close through their extensive years of a working association, parents and contributors alike.

But for those of us who worked every day for decades with Helen, senior colleagues some of whom are present here today, it was her self-disciplined patience that we relied upon on each of those days. None probably relied more heavily upon her entire suite of abilities, skills, insights, direct comments, diplomatic reserve, Helen’s professional working wisdom.

I am sure we all came to have as I did a well of affection for her that exceeded anything to do with professional association or interaction. That remains, now and always.

I first met Helen on the first day of my taking up appointment at Redlands in May 1981. She was officially part-time Second Secretary assisting the previous Headmistress’ and Headmaster’s Secretary, Maida. In the first weeks, drama upon drama occurred not least because Redlands had had to fight to remain a school, was financially in deep trouble, and was subject to attack by a small group of active parents. The Chairman and Board of the time, whom Helen came to know closely through the constant effort to keep Redlands afloat and teaching the children who remained after the management catastrophes of the 1970s, provided exceptional leadership backed up by teaching staff who had their employment terminated each evening and re-employment confirmed the following morning. It was into this context that Helen had stepped as a part-time office clerk, for 2 or 3 days per week as could be afforded by the school.

A fond memory of the time for me was the “Days of Our Lives” office episodes, recorded by Maida and Helen to relieve the pressure of each day. In part they saw the melodrama of a new Headmaster, fresh from boys-only boarding school, astonished by the crying and self-dramatics of some parents of the time. It was no bad thing to be included in the occasional soap opera Maida and Helen managed daily, at the front desk in an old cottage, in the interview room which was a tiny veranda, and in Accounts with the redoubtable Hazel who was seeking to collect fees when some parents persistently fabricated stories to explain non-payment. Comic as it was after hours perhaps, sharply stressful was it in the working day for all.

Helen remained calm, considerate, compassionate and as I noted very early, exceedingly efficient. She explained this by referring to her training in the bank, but I regarded the skills and rock steadiness as much more than training.

Therefore when the time came I had no hesitation in asking Helen whether she would step up to become Headmaster’s Secretary, full-time of course, with an unlimited load of responsibility. We here have all made good decisions from time to time; this was undoubtedly one of my finest, and her acceptance of the appointment an adventurous decision. In the early times of our working together she had seen and more importantly heard through the thin partitioning door, my quite insistent method of operation with the school community – children and parents alike – and still Helen agreed. It was only much later in our working together that I came to recognise how strong she was just to put up with both the work load and me.

Over the next 22 years and beyond Helen adorned her appointment, truly carrying with dignity and honour the work of Secretary – in the original meaning of ‘confidential officer’ or ‘keeper of secrets’. She understood finely and compassionately that during every day of those years Helen dealt directly with matters that affected intensely the emergent lives of children, worked closely with parents to assist both children and families, looked after members of staff in difficulty from time to time, and welcomed to the Cottage as later to Lone Oak, Chairman, Board members, parents and philanthropists, politicians, and trouble-makers. All with that trade-mark calm, attentiveness, positive smile.

Helen’s response to the recovering school and to the growth in enrolments as in facilities was of course total: there were times when we met at work at 6 a.m. and were still at work at 6 p.m. and beyond. In part this was made possible by Helen’s deciding that Rachel and Vanessa should attend Redlands, and at some stage Belinda would join the Staff. In these later years it will have been a joy to her to see and affirm the accomplished lives of all three. Helen carried parenthood with distinction and loving provision of opportunity, support and wry good humour from time to time as was necessary.

Helen’s Redlands years were such that many of us drew confidence from her example, her diligence, her loyalty, her phenomenal memory for fine detail. Certainly I relied always upon the latter. Helen led the expanded office staff with firm insistence but always with sympathy and empathy. She accepted final responsibility for the Office and for performance; it is nothing new to note that Redlands could never have achieved the growth, development, reputation and level of exact service to children had her measured response leadership not been available to the school. Seated at her desk in Lone Oak, at the top of the stairs of course, with windows overlooking the quad and therefore the school, she provided a pivot of excellence that mad possible, and effective, many of the innovations and the initiatives introduced to the school between 1981 and 2003.

Finally however, on this last day, I record with life-long appreciation the work-place challenges Helen faced, confronted and overcame. When first we met she was working on a manual Olivetti typewriter, the click-clack of which was audible even above my shouting and as lead in Days of our Lives. Later she mastered the IBM electric machine, followed by word processing, faxes, e-mails and all attendant increase of demand. The mobile phone must have been a trial for Helen – on a memorable occasion I was driving to Jindabyne to visit a group of students who were walking the high country with staff, when I hard on the car radio that the group from Redlands had been lost in blizzards and rescue missions had been launched. To find a public phone in Liverpool that afternoon was difficult, but when I finally was able to ring to alert Helen and ask her to alert the Chairman, she was of course at her desk and handled matters with aplomb. Later of course in other matters I had the delight of car phones and mobiles so I could ring immediately – thus transferring the stress to Helen and then driving on.

I am sure Helen carried happy memories of the evening in late 1989 when it was confirmed that Redlands had been approved to purchase Cremorne Girls‘ High School from January 1990. We were still at our desks at 6 p.m. when the key person who had led the bid – Bob Dunnet – arrived followed closely by champagne. My memory of that evening is that Helen revelled in the result, but did not see in any way her own participation in its being achieved. A golden mark of the professional woman, always willing to recognise the virtues of others. And with that wry smile, subsequent laugh, and moving on to the next matter.

But I record formally today my perpetual gratitude for the role she played in all the school accomplished: academic results of note each year, The International Baccalaureate, international exchange programmes, the High Country Campus, Cremorne Campus, Redlands House North Balgowlah, Snowy Mountains Grammar School, ACPE, International Music tours, the Redlands Cup in competition skiing, ISA, The Rugby Tens – the list is long and the impact educational as intended.

Should these remarks seem to focus on the professional, and miss the personal woman herself, it is intentional. In all those years Helen and I did not discuss much that was personal to either – we just knew that we knew, and that if either had a problem we would each be available, ready and unlimited in help. Perhaps this reserve over all those years grew from our both being from the Hunter Valley, both from practical backgrounds, and both ready to stand in the trenches if necessary.

However as today so then on proper occasions, to acknowledge the debt owed to Helen. Owing to inelegant circumstances of the time, many of us were not invited to celebrate with her the retirement from superlative years of exemplary service. I had the pleasure of working with her again at TMLE, of knowing her well and back ‘in harness’. That illuminates decades of treasured memories.

Like everyone here today I am grateful to have met Helen, to have worked with her, to have grown professionally with her, and to have been informed by her qualities as a professional, and as a finest human being.

From John’s Gospel: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, wold I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am you may be also. And you know the place where I am going. Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Peter J Cornish. Eulogy. Mrs Helen Carden. 11 April 2019